Wow. I have been so bummed since E’s visit yesterday. His birth mom brought a barber to the visit and cut E’s hair…really cut it. What’s the big deal? You’d have to see E to know. His hair was (and I mean WAS:) a big part of his personality- not to mention it looked precious! They spent the entire hour-long visit cutting a screaming childs’ hair.
The caseworker called me last week to see if I had any objections, since I would have to maintain it. I told her I didn’t want to cut it, but I didn’t want to upset mom, so to go ahead. I’m sorry I said that!
That’s my point of view-the foster mom’s point of view. Here’s how I think his birth mom sees it…..it is the only thing she has any control over-she has lost custody of her child, someone else is mothering him, her case is moving towards termination and it is all out of her control. E’s hair, however, is still in her control and she wants to feel like she can still make some decision regarding his life and care. I do understand that. I can’t imagine how it must feel to only see your child one hour a week, to miss every ‘first’ in his life, to have him prefer another mother’s arms to yours. It must be so hard.
When I think about the situation from that perspective my heart softens and I realize it’s only a haircut. (But, before you are too proud of me and my attitude, I have to ‘fess up and say I’m still a little bummed!)