I got a call today from the pastor of a church in my area that is living out the gospel in an intentional and creative way. The people in his congregation truly are the hands and feet of Jesus; they’re not just ‘hearers’ but are effectual ‘doers’. Everyone from the top down is invested in bringing folks to salvation and this church understands that to accomplish that goal, you’ve got to think outside the box. The reason he called today was to tell me that they are planning a huge Mother’s Day event-not just a feel good “will the mother with the most kids stand up and we’ll give you a long-stemmed red rose’ event, but an event that honors mothers by shining a spotlight on those who don’t have one. The next thing on this pastors’ phone agenda was to encourage me and to ask me what Project Zero’s needs were right at that moment. Wow.
Okay, so here it is….if Christians are going to make a definitive and lasting impact on the foster care problem in our country, we’ve got to get out of the box. For years, we’ve let our job fall on the government’s back, and then we are frustrated and exasperated when they don’t do it the way we think it should be done. I think its’ past time for us to give them a break and get our hands dirty. Getting out of the box, and outside ourselves is not easy. It takes compromise, it takes creativity, it takes dying to self and sometimes it even takes finesse, but it is necessary, in fact it’s critical.
We have got to look to the Father for creative ways to help the fatherless. We’ve got to feel deep down to our core the urgency of the over 100,000 kids in our country who are waiting for us to step over the line, step up to the plate, and make a difference. Because that difference is their future.
I was thinking tonight about how fast time is moving-seems like it was just Christmas and now February is here. But for kids waiting in foster care, time stands still; the fluidity of their existence and the lack of permanence prevents them from digging in their heels, taking a deep breath and just ‘being’. I long for that for every one of them. I ache at the thought of what they must be thinking. I hurt for their pasts and I hope for their futures. And I pray, oh how I pray that God will move in miraculous ways on their behalf. I want to do my part; I want to be a conduit for change, for hope and unconditional love and most importantly for finding forever families. It is time. There are no excuses. We can ALL do something…..but it’s gonna take some getting out of the box.
Time does stand still for kids waiting in foster care. The stand-still also is like a roadblock to many of them. The waiting, the uncertainty, the feeling of being in limbo, stunt their growth and keep them in a rut. I know this to be true because of my three daughters, who came to us because of Project Zero. In the 7 months that I’ve had these precious gifts, the eldest has grown 4 1/2 inches in height and has gained two grade levels in reading. She says she wants to be an adoption specialist and an adoptive mom when she grows up so she can help rescue children from foster care. The middle girl has grown 4 inches in height. She has stopped wetting the bed, stopped lying, has learned to love and trust Daddy, and has made huge gains in school. She tells me every single day how wonderful it is to know that she is loved and safe forever. The most drastic difference, though, is in my little one. She gave her foster family all kinds of trouble. She was diagnosed with 2-year social and emotional developmental delays when she came to us. In the first 5 months that we had her, she threw us every bad behavior in the book, and even scared us a few times with her intensity. 7 months later–with adoption day well in our rear view mirror–she is a different child. She is peaceful, happy, obedient, and kind. She sleeps through the night. She stays out of her siblings’ stuff. She hasn’t destroyed anything in over a month. She follows our house rules consistently and cheerfully. She is gentle with our animals. She’s beginning to make progress in school. She is starting to notice the needs of others, and has realized that her actions affect other people. She has begun to offer spontaneous apologies when she realizes she is in the wrong…now that she feels safe enough to admit when she is wrong! She has said to me on numerous occasions, “I’m Alexa B now, and DHS can’t never take me to live with another family again!” She is safe and she knows it. She says, “I don’t have to be bad anymore because I know that I’m yours now, and I can’t do nothing that would make you give me away.” Her development has almost caught up to her true age. These little girls are free. They’re free to be kids, free to give and receive love, free from the fear that they’ll have to move again, free to grow and develop and learn, free to be part of their new family. Free to be the girls God created them to be. This road has not been easy. Like I said, we’ve had some pretty serious obstacles to overcome, and I know there will be many more as the girls let more out. But I would never, never go back. Now we’re figuring out how we can creatively make an impact on kids in foster care. We’re saving every penny we can so we can move into a bigger house to make room for more. We’re working with our local DHS to host awareness and recruiting events for potential foster and adoptive parents. We’re coaching a couple of other families who want to adopt. Why? Because our three girls have shown us firsthand how lives can be transformed. Off my soapbox now. I hope this encourages you, Christie. And I hope it encourages others.