Jeff and I have been talking a lot lately about our foster care and adoption journey. We’ve been on this road for 19 years. It has been a road paved with potholes and gravel, smooth lines and sharp curves, straight-aways, mountaintops and steep hills that almost cause you to reverse course. It certainly has not been an easy road, or a sight-seeing trip. It has been a voyage of sorts- one that has taken us to places we never dreamed we’d see: saying goodbye to over 50 children, releasing our ‘daughter’ to a destiny we would not have chosen, and adopting two beautiful children. I have often said that the ‘blessings far outweigh the sacrifice”.
And most of the time they do. This week, I’ve been thinking about my older kids- Chase 25, Caleb 22, Cara 21, and Connor 17. They are four of the most precious people I know. They are all so different and yet blend together to bring Jeff and I more joy than we could have ever imagined. They certainly are not perfect and don’t pretend to be! But, they love us unconditionally and they support us unconditionally. Foster care and adoption have shaped each one of them in a special way, but the call on my life has cost them. You can’t candy coat it; it has cost them. They have shared their parents for 19 years. They have loved over 50 children well. They have babysat, changed diapers, sung lullabies, talked through problems, held hands, kissed boo-boos, prayed diligently, kissed and hugged and said goodbye. They have laughed and cheered and grieved and cried. They have given themselves to the cause.
But they are at the ages now where Jeff and I should (by society’s norm) be available for them at any time; to travel, to sit down and talk, to go out, etc., Yet, we are not the typical parents of teens and twenty-somethings….we have two ‘little’ ones at home. (Two little ones that we love with all of our hearts and that all of us know were deliberately and with great purpose placed specifically in our family!) Nonetheless, our older children are still sacrificing. Jeff and I want to be aware of that; we want them to know how grateful we are that they are willing to sacrifice, that they are willing to come alongside us on this journey, that they are sold out to their sister and brother as well as every other vulnerable child that needs the love and nurture of a family. Tonight I just want all of my children to know how much I love them and appreciate them.
All six of them are an incredible blessing from God; so I guess when it all comes down to it; the blessings really do outweigh the sacrifice.
Thanks for your honesty. My wife and I too have a 20 yr old biological son two adopted daughter 8 and 6 and on National Adoption day we were blessed to add another little guy 16 mos. So at 52 I am still changing diapers and wouldn’t have it any other way. We are currently fostering a set of 6 yr old twins. So finding the time for each member of the household is a constant struggle, but again worth every minute.
Wow! Thanks Michael for your comment! What a blessing to hear that there are other 52 year olds on our team!!
Loved hearing about your family and what God is doing in and through all of you!! 
Thank you for this post! We have a bio 9 and 7 year old, and just had to end a foster placement of a 2 and 1 year old sibling pair yesterday. It was the hardest decision we’ve made thus far in our foster journey. My husband is about to lose his dad, and we could see our family suffering. Very hard to make the choice to move them, but your post encouraged me that our hearts (all four of them) will heal. I know God has those little kiddos in His hand, and there was a family waiting to take them. Thanks for your honesty in your posts. They always seem to come at just the right time… God is good.
We have one bio one adopted and today marks two months since our little foster baby siblings left us. It is hard and relieving and crushing all at the same time. I often wonder if we will ever stop thinking of them and praying for them. I hope not.
We’ve been fostering for almost a year now and it is always encouraging to hear ‘truth’ from other foster parents… knowing how tempting it is to ‘reverse course’ but that God is faithful in his strength to help us carry on and move forward despite what we imagine or experience along the journey. Thank you for your New Year’s post as many of us deal w/ college students and older children that are home for the holidays.